Hypocrite

Deep inside is a disease,
A sickness as old as the birds and bees…
Infecting our hands and feet, elbows and knees.
That permeates every heart mind and soul…people young and old.
The wise man and the fool; the rejected and the cool
The rich, the poor, the tall the short;
the boy, the girl; the entire world.
With hateful hearts and eyes that judge
They hold grudges that won’t budge
With pretentious isolation they perpetuate segregation,
Irreverently they engage in informal fornication
Indulge in dubious intoxication
And look to one another for uneducated validation
I hear them vomit out lies and deception
Speak words that kill.
The sickness runs deep
Making them insecure
Turning their motives impure
Filling them up with an insatiable lust.
…and I look on in disgust
The darkness couldn’t be clearer,
Until I look in the mirror
And notice my own black heart and judging eyes
My untamed tongue that spits out slander and lies
There’s no escaping my fate;
I am what I hate.

-Charlie Kenny

Indecision

To do or not to do;
That is the question…the obsession and expression of our lives.
We are designed for movement: for action and reaction.
You feel the yearnings inside that ache
For choices to make
Steps to take, barriers to break,
Activities in which to partake…
But how does one make a decision? Can anyone truly envision what lies ahead?
There’s so much to consider.
Ethics to contemplate
Variables to calculate
Possibilities to estimate
As you observe the tension between want and need,
You find yourself unsure of which impulse to heed.
You will weigh your options
Calculate positive and negative; meditate on right and wrong.
You will see this pro, that con, and the list goes on and on.
Paralysis and uncertainty ensue
And you still don’t know what to do.


-Charlie Kenny

Writer's Block

My whole life is internal. All the trials and tribulations I face, the solutions I find, all the sins I commit, the virtues I hold, all the pain and pleasure I experience...all of it is locked inside. There is virtually no physical manifestation of any of it; the chaos is all in my head. I am the epitome of introspection.

As one might imagine, I do a lot of thinking and reflecting. Numerous thoughts and ideas pop into my head on a daily basis, things that I feel need to be shared, discussed and refined. The only way I know how to effectively do this is to write; to translate the storm of thoughts and feelings raging inside my head into words, into something meaningful; something relevant. But for some reason, I haven't been able to do it. The words just aren't coming to me, and I don't have the patience to endure the wait. Thus the storm continues...

Too bad this results in a [more than usual] perpetually moody, self-absorbed and angst-ridden Charlie.

I've began - and abandoned - several pieces on:

the urgency of service and loving others
sex
the balance between liberalism and conservatism
the reputation of the church
the power of words
accountability
transitional moments in one's life

These are all topics I've been thinking about lately, but can't seem to find the words to comment on. Writer's block SUCKS.

the silent cry

an ambiguous voice permeates my generation

we call to you in silence
without words and without intention
but we cry to you nonetheless

through the grudges we hold
through our sexual encounters
through lonely isolation
through lies and deception
through inflated egos
through ambivalence and apathy...
our spirits scream for something more
for more than a feeling
more than a name

every misguided step we take
beseeches the grace of Hosanna
to fill every void inside

-Charlie Kenny

God the Artist

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse
Romans 1:20

Just as an artist leaves a piece of himself in his work, so does God reveal Himself in His creation. Look around in nature, and you'll see the Maker in what has been made. This last weekend, some middle school students and I spent an unforgettable two days camping and rock climbing in some remote area of northern California. It was absolutely breathtaking.
I wrote some haiku-like poems in response:

Tree God
You are tall and mighty
ancient, but fully alive.
Always reaching out.
Giver of good gifts
you're a refuge from the rain
and the wind and the sun.

Grass of the Field
Innumerable.
Nourishing beasts of the earth
growing every day.
gentle to the touch
thin emeralds in the sun
still reaching higher.

Canyon River
The great river flows
peace and chaos all in one
pure and relentless.

Rocky Mountain
Towering mountain
unshakable foundation
stand firm in great strength.

Set Apart. Part 2

There is a certain individual, a very passionate young woman, who is making quite a name for herself in the Bay Area Christian culture. (To avoid the risk of provoking an unnecessary confrontation, I will refrain from using her real name. She will be referred to from here on out as "Betty")

Betty is on the forefront of what I like to call "the revival." She is bound and determined to spur her fellow young people on to living lives completely dedicated to God. Betty calls for her peers to raise the bar for ethical standards and be more conscious of what we consume. (i.e. various forms of media, drugs) In order to get this message across, she organizes this annual event (name omitted) with speakers and a band or two and she even preaches her heart on the issue.

We need to be different. We need to change the world. We need to be set apart.

First of all…I would like to commend her for her efforts. Our generation is frustratingly apathetic and so willing to compromise their values; no one cares anymore. It’s so unusual to see someone with such scrupulous determination. I love Betty’s heart, love it.

However, to be frank, what she puts on i not unlike other similar events - The Gathering of the Unashamed, any Mexico Mission trip, any theme weekend for a Christian camp, the triennial CHIC conference. It’s got the same urgent, “call to arms” message that we’ve all heard countless times, complete with that fleeting, life-changing burst of passion that expires halfway out the door.

There is no doubt in my mind that these events are needed; people forget and people get complacent and distracted. But after 4-5 years of attending these revivals, I’ve grown pretty bored of hearing the same old message and receiving the same momentary revolutionary feelings. It’s become so routine, so superficial. It’s like we’re always stuck in this initial stage of "I need to change."

I recently had a conversation with Betty. When I asked her how she was living out this "call to
action," I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for. In so many words, she told me:

I lead worship at my church. I lead a small group for high school ministry. Of course I do [insert name of revival event] every year. I'm straight-edge and I don't curse. I don’t watch rated R movies and I definitely don’t sleep around.

Okay…cool. Me too.

But I was hoping she’d tell me, how Jesus is calling her to live beyond herself. I wanted her to tell me, for example, about her relationship with people at work. Something about patience or humility? Or how she might be sacrificing her time? Taking care of the sick? Maybe tutoring kids for free? What about the way she uses her words; do they build up? Or do they tear down? How about the way she uses her money and resources? Is she a giver? Does she live simply? I don’t know. There’s a million other things I can ask. I guess I was simply unsatisfied with her answer.

I didn’t want to hear about how she shuts herself up inside her little Christian bubble and participates in her Christian hobbies with her Christian friends. That's not being different. It's not changing the world.

There’s just got to be something more to being “set apart.” I'd wager Jesus had something else in mind.

Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:5-11

Set Apart . Part 1

"Balls"

In the beginning, the church had it right.
Jesus won the fight; he brought us out of the dark of night
and to His great delight we walked in light.
We followed Christ's holy vision,
But by some poor decision came great division.
We looked for a reason to hate, to desecrate and annihilate.
Devoid of grace, we judge on race
and spit in one another's face.
Without apology, we bash others' political ideology
We look down and harass people who are "lower" class.
Somewhere down the line our hearts were infected.
Barriers were erected and, in essence,
the greatest commandment was rejected.
Now here we are, judging and hating what makes us admirable.
Valuable. Lovable.
I believe Jesus calls us all to have the balls to break down these walls.
To forget about his abnormality, or her nationality,
my personality, your legality,
or even their sexuality.
We've got to abandon this bigoted mentality,
this logical fallacy, and all the verbal and mental brutality...to embrace His reality. His love. His love that rebuilds us, fulfills us.
Heals us, reveals things to us.
That gives us hope and helps us cope.
His love that changes our hearts and gives us new starts,
that makes amends and above all else transcends.

By: Charlie Kenny

The above poem (called "Balls") was written a little under a year ago. Back in December, I was hanging out with some friends - Christian friends, I might add - at someone's house watching the 2nd Season of some show. As we watched the plot unfold on the screen, I found myself profoundly distracted and disturbed by the conversations that peppered our time together.

Stupid Asian drivers. Dirty Mexicans crossing our borders. Fags. Crazy liberals ruining our country. Whoreish classmates.

...Excuse me?

I refrained from adding to these exchanges; I was simply paralyzed with curiosity. These people grew up in the Church. They go to youth group every week, and have small groups. None of them drink. None of them do drugs. I'm fairly certain they're all virgins. They don't swear. They're all just honest, hardworking young men and women. They follow all the rules. How could such things be coming out of their mouths?

Then it hit me. (Not that I didn't know "it" before, but the gravity of "it" had finally sunk in.)

Following the rules is not what sets Christians apart.
It never has been.
Romans 2-4 talks about how the written Law of the Old Testament is no longer the final standard for righteousness. The Law is a tool for self-assessment, and is truly a moral code worthy of adherence, but it is not what will save us. Rather, our acceptance of His sacrifice for us. It is our trust in Jesus - His character, His ways, His promises, His accomplishments and how these things affect us -that saves us.

Anyone can follow rules. Anyone can pursue a disciplined lifestyle. Athletes do it. Scholars do it. Artists do it. Businesses do it. Governments do it. Ethics. Preparation. Assembly. Exercise. It's nothing new.
What makes Christians different - in theory - is the unconditional love they have learned to pour out on others. Jesus said it, Himself, "all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35)