Pulse

This was written a little after my last trip to Mexico. Going on a mission trip as a leader was quite a different experience. It changed my whole perspective on...everything. These feelings I'm about to express may have become a little stale since that trip, but they are the cry of my heart:

Who wants to be tied down?
Who wants to just be sitting around, not moving a muscle, not making a sound?
Who wants to waste this life doing nothing?
I’m just so sick of the same old routine, everything so neat and clean,
and the so-called American dream...I'm bursting at the seam!

My eyes wander,
Fingers tap, legs bounce
Heart pounds.

There’s something rising up in me
Something like a budding seed, trying to break free,
Trying to live fully in to its destiny as a tree.

…What’s going on with me?

I feel different. Like chains have been broken.
Like my eyes have been opened.
Like I’ve got a message that needs to be spoken.

Whatever it is, it is uncontainable and ignoring it is not sustainable,
I don’t know what this is about, but I feel something is yearning to reach out
for something unexplainable, for something that feels unattainable.

There’s a fire in my heart, but where do I start?
Where does one begin to be different in a town plagued by apathy, and blinded by intoxication?

Time is flying by so fast
And I want to live each day like it was my last.
I want to put my comfort on a shelf, and die to myself.
I want to forget about the past…and look ahead.
To one day ensure the hungry are fed,
And that the poor wanderer could lay down his weary head,
To one day loosen the chains of the oppressed,
to bring healing to the discouraged and depressed.

I want to abandon fear and start trusting the God who is near.
It’s time to throw caution to the wind, and let this journey begin.

-Charlie Kenny