Painter

The painter paints with passion
Brushing furiously, stroking away…
In a determinedly focused fashion
That will not waver or sway.
His marred hands move with a vision;
An image inside His head
Calculated with perfect precision
That moves his brush ahead.
Slowly, slowly, but oh so surely
The canvas fill up with paint
It won’t be late, nor will it be early
But on time and untouched by complaint.
He who began a this enchanting endeavor
Will surely finish it.
And its greatness and glory will hang forever
Where no one can diminish it.

Full Circle

The funny thing about seasons
Is that they’re cyclical;
They come, they go, and they come back…
And that’s no conjecture, that’s a fact.
I’m telling you, it’s true:
The Good Book tells us there’s nothing new
And that there’s a time for everything under the sun:
A time to walk, a time to run,
A time to keep it together, a time come undone,
A time to embrace, a time to refrain,
A time for pleasure, a time for pain.
Whatever’s begun has already been done
And whatever’s done will begin again.
Just when you thought the lesson was learned,
And the bridges were burned,
Or your blessing was earned…
You discover that the tides hadn’t really turned at all.
At least not for very long.

Revisiting the Treadmill part 3

Now back to the treadmill...

I believe my kind of waiting is one that is active. It is preparation, it is training. Not simply a gap of time between point A and B, but an intentional period of time to ready oneself for what comes next. Just like my jogging on the treadmill is a way of conditioning and refining my body to run outside, so must be my place in life right now. Where I'm at is not the ultimate path God has for me, but rather a training ground to strength my legs to convey me towards whatever destiny awaits me.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Hebrews 12:11-13

This anonymous letter (no, it wasn't Paul) wrote this to Jewish converts who felt social pressures to turn back from their new way of living, or to compromise their current beliefs with their old customs. The entire book of Hebrews is about the character of Jesus and how we ought to approach Him in light of His attributes (i.e. sovereignty, compassion, wisdom etc.) The author of the book of Hebrews called the "hardships" his recipients edured "discipline" from God. In Ancient Greek, the word for discipline was "epaideuon" , which referred to

the whole training and education of children - which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment. It also includes the training and care of the body

(The Online Greek Bible)

We must approach God in hardships as our teacher or our coach, for that is what He uses to strengthen us and refine us like silver. The Hebrews were to take their troubles as an opportunity to learn and grow into the people God intended.

If the Word of God truly is "living", then the exhortations presented here can most certainly be applied to my life, as well. Therefore, I believe the Lord is using my hardship of monotony and restlessness to discipline me for some greater purpose I need to run after, and whatever it is will be worth the wait.

Revisiting the Treadmill part 2

The fact that the creator and keeper of the universe would take time to speak into a situation as ultimately trivial as mine is, by itself, an encouraging reality. I love when God speaks.

To be frank, however, I wasn't impressed by His message for me at the gym. It didn't sound like anything new. I had been told to wait before...to be still and let things come when they come. But I didn't realize at the time that a different kind of waiting was being presented to me. Before I get to that, however, I want to share how God reinforced His message. Since my initial encounter, God brought to me His written word (over about a week) to confirm what He had impressed upon my heart on the treadmill.

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19

"Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told."
Habakkuk 1:5

Through the words of the prophets, God assures His people that He has plans. Good plans. Plans we might not understand or expect, but plans that are perfect and wonderful. That's the hope that He gives: we may not be able to predict what He'll do exactly, but we can trust that it will be unbelievable and satisfactory. More than satisfactory, for the Words tells us God's love is overflowing, and his blessings are bountiful. Whatever they may be, they are worth waiting for...

Then the LORD replied:
"Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.
For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay.
Habakkuk 2:2-3

God promises to be faithful. He wants us to hold on to that piece of Him and have hope. The "new thing" or "good thing" that we await will come exactly when it needs to. We can trust Him in this because His ways and thoughts are higher than ours; He sees behind and before, around and within...He sees it all and He knows each part fully. We can trust the path He has for us.

Revisiting the Treadmill part 1

A few months ago, I wrote a haiku about running on a treadmill:

stretch, walk, breathe, now sprint.
I'm running on a treadmill,
still getting nowhere.

My disdain for both running and gyms were the inspiration for this little verse. I hate running. Mostly because I'm not athletic and I suck at it; my legs go numb, I'm winded and my throat starts burning after 30 seconds of jogging outside. In order to improve, I've made a lengthy and sporadic attempt to improve by running on a treadmill over the last year and a half.

Unfortunately, this desperate act of improvement is nauseatingly boring and makes me feel like a hamster. It's so mechanical and sterile.

As I engage in my stationary exercise, with the rhythmic drumming of my feet as the soundtrack to my journey to physical fitness, it becomes clear that this is but a poor reflection of what running should be. I should be feeling the sun on my skin and the wind in my face! There's a whole beautiful world out there I could be running around in...hills, forests, coasts... but where am I? Running in place, inside a room full of metal and plastic, on a spinning slap of rubber!

This just isn't what we're made for.

I couldn't help but draw a parallel between this routine of mine with the rest of my life, as of late. I'm putting in all this effort in to...whatever it is I do...but I'm not really going anywhere. There's just a lack of novelty and there's no visible progression to what I'm doing. I'm working, studying and volunteering in the same place I've been for the last 17 years. It's all getting old. It's getting harder to keep the same pace. It's hard to be excited about what I'm doing. There's just this yearning to go somewhere else, do and see something new. These feelings of mine are definitely not "something new." It seems like they've been around forever! And I'm so tired of waiting for them to be satisfied. I imagine this is true for a lot of community college students...and anyone who is in a time of waiting for something.

On one particularly jaded day of feigned aerobic exercise, I was questioning the point of what I was doing, both in and out of the gym. In reminding myself of my external purposes, I felt the Spirit whisper in my ear:

You're right: this isn't what I made you for. Doesn't mean it's pointless.
You're training. You're getting stronger.
You are being prepared to run.

Let me clarify that God was not talking about my time running on the treadmill.

Pulse

This was written a little after my last trip to Mexico. Going on a mission trip as a leader was quite a different experience. It changed my whole perspective on...everything. These feelings I'm about to express may have become a little stale since that trip, but they are the cry of my heart:

Who wants to be tied down?
Who wants to just be sitting around, not moving a muscle, not making a sound?
Who wants to waste this life doing nothing?
I’m just so sick of the same old routine, everything so neat and clean,
and the so-called American dream...I'm bursting at the seam!

My eyes wander,
Fingers tap, legs bounce
Heart pounds.

There’s something rising up in me
Something like a budding seed, trying to break free,
Trying to live fully in to its destiny as a tree.

…What’s going on with me?

I feel different. Like chains have been broken.
Like my eyes have been opened.
Like I’ve got a message that needs to be spoken.

Whatever it is, it is uncontainable and ignoring it is not sustainable,
I don’t know what this is about, but I feel something is yearning to reach out
for something unexplainable, for something that feels unattainable.

There’s a fire in my heart, but where do I start?
Where does one begin to be different in a town plagued by apathy, and blinded by intoxication?

Time is flying by so fast
And I want to live each day like it was my last.
I want to put my comfort on a shelf, and die to myself.
I want to forget about the past…and look ahead.
To one day ensure the hungry are fed,
And that the poor wanderer could lay down his weary head,
To one day loosen the chains of the oppressed,
to bring healing to the discouraged and depressed.

I want to abandon fear and start trusting the God who is near.
It’s time to throw caution to the wind, and let this journey begin.

-Charlie Kenny

Follow Me (FEEDBACK, PLEASE)

This is about my service in middle school ministry. I'm not quite satisfied with this piece. Something is missing, I feel, but I'm not sure. Tell me how I can make it better:

Some know, others forgot…
But whether you know it, or not
Let me remind you: we are on a quest.
You know your mind is without rest
And that heart that beats in your chest
Is possessed by a longing for life.

Everyone searches aimlessly,
But we know that treasure is out there.
After so much struggle and prayer
I finally stand atop a rock and declare
I see the thing that will fill my soul
The thing that will make me whole.
I see it on the top, and I intend not to stop.

Can you hear me screaming?
Can you see me beaming?
I raise my voice to the sky, but you bat not an eye
Turn not your head and lay motionless as if dead…

Sitting down on the high place, I wipe the sweat from my face
My heart is drumming and humming as I wonder why no one is coming.

Suddenly it became clear:
I can’t just call your name from up here.
My cries are but fleeting noise
That don’t reach the ears of my naïve young boys
They sit on the ground, and hear not a sound.
I’ve got to go back down…
And show them the path I’ve found.

-Charlie Kenny